BLOG 201 OVERUSE OF SORRY
When you need to ask your friend or co-worker for help, why might you say, “Sorry to bother you, but…” When you aren’t feeling good because you have the flu, you say, “Sorry I’m sick”. When you arrive early for an appointment and tell the receptionist, “Sorry, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t late”. Are these instances truly worthy of an apology? An apology is an expression of regret or sorrow for having failed or wronged another person. We throw the S-bomb around when we have done nothing wrong at all. The problem is that being a chronic over-apologizer does take its toll on your self-esteem. You are reaching for approval and asking for acceptance from someone else. You are being a people-pleaser. Not only this, but crying wolf saying sorry all the time, means when the real word should be used, it has lost its merit.
Apologies should be kept for special occasions, and hopefully the less frequent the better. You have to use your words wisely. If someone helps you, rather than saying sorry for taking up their time, say thank you for taking your time to help me. Surveys show that the average person says sorry 8 times per day (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2036719/Britons-say-sorry-8-times-day–233-000-times-lives.html). I mean isn’t it silly that someone else bumps into us and we say sorry?? You are not a side walk and meant to be walked all over so stop saying sorry for just being you. Don’t make yourself feel less than what you are worth by saying sorry to someone else for no reason. You are telling them they are higher up than you in that moment. It’s wonderful to be a caring and sympathetic person to others, but not when you are sacrificing your self-worth. Assert yourself and stand tall. Being sorry all the time sets a negative vibe for your emotions. Take a day and track how many times you say the S-bomb. Notice why you used the phrase. Don’t be sorry for taking the time to read this. Be sorry for saying sorry so much haha. But you get my point
We live in an information overload world, where it is human nature to believe everything we see or read. Just a fraction of a second after we read a sentence, we think it must be true. That is because we want to believe. The act of believing provides confidence, knowledge, affirmation, or proof, that the subject matter can exist in our brain space. That doesn’t make us gullible, rather, we become victims of myths, fallacies, and false claims. After all, what would the world be like if we generally felt that what we read, saw, or heard, wasn’t true?? Disbelief usually comes after belief. We need evidence to debunk, disprove, or negate something we have read. Our minds make us fortunate to have the ability to take in information, process it, and decide what to do with it.
Yet, a little embellishment here and there is readily available through this information. A story needs merit, spark, catch, in order to entertain us. The story might need a little decoration to be considered interesting or to pull attention. A magazine with no readers won’t be a magazine for very long.
This brings me to oh so popular phrase I hear from client, “You know I was reading about….” followed by, “So what do you think??”. Well an opinion is an opinion but if were talking health and fitness, then I can add value. Between diets, exercise methods, and the latest detox, the fitness industry has become bombarded with get fit quick schemes and supplements to reach any goal. Marketers prey on the vulnerability of believers. These believes have tried and failed before, each time believing that what they have read will be the grand answer they need. The lies from last time somehow get forgotten. This is a cycle.
This means we have to consider our sources for information, always look for credible research studies that are not monetary based, and understand that just because we want to believe, doesn’t make the subject matter true. A lie is a sin, but that doesn’t keep them out of life. I always say read a second opinion, look at the pros and cons, and then draw a conclusion based on the reliability and validity of what and where you read something. Those tabloids get us. We keep reading and believing, hence why you can read about anything on a good old Google search. But don’t Google your symptoms to the point of utter chaos in your life. Self-diagnosis can be self-destructive. Hold true to your values, listen to your heart, and don’t be fooled by claims preying upon your emotions for what you want to hear.
BLOG 199 ENVSION
Having a mental picture of what you want to achieve is imperative for success. I’m sure you have heard of vision boards, athletes doing this before games, or business leaders seeing themselves on top. You have to illustrate to your mind what is going to happen. If you can’t see yourself where you want to be, then how is the picture even possible?? It’s part of the reflection of realizing you can do something. If you aren’t able to picture yourself where you want to be then you don’t have the confidence to be there (harsh but true).
One of my fondest memories of my mom was when I wasn’t able to sleep the night before a basketball a game because I was envisioning tomorrow’s game. I would play the plays in my head. I wanted to play well and win so bad. She would stay up late watching Lifetime TV so I would go tell her I was frustrated and couldn’t sleep. She would tell me that it’s okay my body is still resting if I just lay there and think about how well I’m going to play in tomorrow’s game. I had to rest my eyes and close them and picture tomorrow’s game. I would go lay back down and get up the next feeling fine. I still do this as an adult the night before competitions. I also use it on nights that I don’t sleep when I reassure myself that my body is still resting even if I’m not able to fall asleep. So when people ask my why I’m not tired, it’s because mentally my mom said I’m rested and mother knows best
The trick is that you can’t casually envision something. You are setting the groundwork and foundation that tells your mind to connect to this captured picture and put you there. The idea has made its grand entrance into your mind and now it’s the commitment to move forward.
Now that you see what you want, you have to envision the steps to get there. You want to take the most direct route, not telling yourself that eventually you will get there. The vision has a deadline. Focus and hone in. Practice and prepare. When we were kids we would envision very fun things like becoming a movie star or sports player. Now its about paving the path of what you really want to do, realistically. The scope on your lens needs to be focused on the picture and only adjusted along the way to make the goals met. Maybe the lighting or scenery needs to change. When it comes to your fitness journey where do you see yourself and your body?? Where do you see your health?? Are you slimmer, more muscular, in a certain size, being able to run around with the kids, or you tell me?? You SEE that picture and now it is your purpose for this lifestyle change. Have the confidence to makes these changes and continue to improve yourself so that the picture becomes complete.
BLOG 198 Laughter
Remember that scene from Mary Poppins where they float to the ceiling and sing the song. “I love to laugh”?? It’s my favorite. Laughter is good for our mental and emotional well-being. It truly is medicine for our mood. We are positive and smiling when we laugh, and it just feels good. When we laugh, we take in more oxygen, increase our blood flow, and use the muscles in our face and body. This means we are burning calories. Laughter is a mild workout. When we laugh, we are in good company and it’s nice to enjoy those moments and memories together. Some of my favorite times with Carl (my husband) is when we laugh so much my eyes start to water and I might even cough. I feel my abs. Laughter is stress reducing. Less stress equates to less demands on the immune system. Endorphins are released and we feel good.
Laughter balances the mind. It is an antidote to stress, pain, and negativity. We used to laugh all the time when we were kids. We would get a case of the giggles and not be able to stop laughing. In adulthood, we tend to take life a lot more serious. We should be frequently laughing to let go of our problems, supporting our mental and physical health, and enhance our relationships. Laughing is free and fun. Some of my favorites hours during the day are spent laughing and exercising with all of you. I think laughter enhances the sense of teamwork and promotes bonding. Laughter sets aside distresses in your life. It really shifts your perspective to feel less angry or anxious or even tired. The increase of blood flow equates to an increase of energy. We like a good sitcom that makes us laugh and it’s why comedians become so popular. When you share a laugh with someone you connect. It’s a moment without that cell phone that you interact and engage with someone. When my dad comes to workout with the other men his age, I love walking the hill with them as they exchange jokes. I think it is why that group is so close and encouraging. Laughter is playful communication that strengthens relationships.
Find the natural laughter in everything. Smiling is contagious. Laughter isn’t something we do it private, rather it is shared. In a world that might disagree on politics, religion, or other elements, laughter sets aside those discrepancies. You don’t have to be a lighthearted or playful person to enjoy laughter. Sometimes just hearing others laugh can make us laugh. We like to share stories about something that made us laugh. I encourage all of you to laugh more this year. Life feels a lot better with a smile.
BLOG 197 EXPECTATIONS
We all have expectations each and every day. We have beliefs that something will happen or should be achieved. We forecast the results like the weather girl and project the future like a psychic. We believe that if we do this, then that will happen. These expectations are sometimes met with such confidence that when the outcome doesn’t match, disappointment hits hard. When the world of any situation doesn’t live up to your expectation, you are let down, discouraged, angry, frustrated, and just plain upset be it sad or mad.
Why do we do this to ourselves?? Why do we expect to lose a certain amount of weight?? Why do we expect Mr. or Mrs. Right to always know what we want?? Why do we expect a pay raise, amazing service, low prices, fast answers and solutions, fast internet, and right here right now, for so many of life’s circumstances?? Then when the scale doesn’t read back what we want, he or she didn’t meet our relationship hopes, the food took forever to come out, the tires cost way more than what we were planning on spending, the boss didn’t email you right back, the website is taking way to long to load, and we have to wait in a long line at the grocery store, well…. our expectations have not been met.
Uncertainty makes us anxious to create expectations in our minds. Sometimes our expectations are so unrealistic, we set ourselves up for failure or self-destruction. We believe that someone or ourselves will behave or perform a certain way, and when they or we don’t do so, emotions get to the best of us.
Any of this sound familiar on your fitness journey?? You expect that you have been working out and eating right that the pounds should be melting off and the scale should read back leaps and bounds of major weight loss. The truth is that the scale will never meet your expectations. The data driven mindset likes to exaggerate itself in our mind. You somehow think that a candy bar can be worked off in 20 minutes with that jog?? No, it’s going to take so much more than that. The reality is that you can’t out exercise a bad diet. Yet, you continue to expect to do this over and over again.
This is why I preach lifestyle change and daily choices that are realistic expectations and demands you place upon yourself to better YOU with or without a scale number. I get it. I get that when you feel like you aren’t losing fast enough or any at all then what’s the point?? But what you don’t see is your blood pressure lowering, your lipid and blood profile improvising, your cardiovascular system smiling, or your liver and kidney saying thank you for not making us work so hard?? So stop setting expectations that have led to your love-hate rollercoaster to no-where expectations about weight loss. It’s a daily grind, full of daily choices that need to be reasonable, attainable, and most of all…. doable.